Warheads Sour Chewy Cubes

Possibly one of the worst chewy candies out there. The flavors aren't bad or anything, but the actual chewy texture is more caramel like than gummi. You expect to bite into these and find the consistency of most chewy candies, a bit firm, but giving. And like most chewies, it'll stick to your teeth a little bit, but only for a few seconds, that isn't the case with these.

They don't really stick to your teeth or gums at all, which is half the fun of a chewy candy. And the "Sour" quality is highly lacking. I understand that the Warheads brand has a few degress of "Sour" and this is considered one of the milder ones, but honestly - there was more sour packed flavor in a Sour Patch Kid (which by most standards isn't even all that sour).

The actual flavors are nice though - the Green Apple actually tastes like Green Apple, and so on. But that's about the only nice thing I can state about these candies.

Hunger Games Book 2 - Catching Fire

The continuation of a story that if you read the first book you already love. I was honestly surprised by this book in truth. Before I continue I will point out that this review will have no choice but to contain spoilers of the first book, so if you haven't read the first book yet go back and read it. 

This book was not only a great continuation of the first, but expanded on the story in a way I truly didn't see coming. There was fantastic foreshadowing throughout the series so you always had an inkling of what was to come, but like the lead character there is one twist we simply didn't see coming, and when it does it makes absolute sense that that is the only way it could possibly be. The Quarter Quell. The idea behind the Hunger Games that happen on the 25th year anniversaries. 25/50/and 75. Since the first book puts Katniss into the 74th Hunger Gaes, we know the following year is the 75th. And for ever Quarter Quell there is a special treat from the Capital for the districts.

Watching everything through Katniss's eyes like the first book is enjoyable. The questions you have and want answered can't be until Katniss knows the answers. It's a nice touch, because just as something is occuring to you to ask, it's ocurring to her as well. And while some of her decisions aren't ones you would have made if given the same options, you can understand entirely WHY she makes those decisions. Her characterization stays true, she never seems to falter from the person she is. The other characters are also true to themselves. Peeta for example stays the good and wonderful boy/man he is, going along with Katniss's plan of appearing like lovers despite it breaking his heart to do so.

New characters are introduced, and despite being abrasive and misleading characters I assure you that all motives are revealed, either in this or in the next book, so keep in mind that while first impressions last, they're often the most misleading.

Zombie Strippers

A truly over looked movie! A lot of people see the B movie quality of this film and that's the end of their interest in it. Even those that like B movies don't seem to see this film for all it's really worth. It's an exploitation film. Designed to make you think not only about the potential of a zombie apocalypse, but also about the government in which we have put our faith. The marines in this film operate blindly, following orders and doing their jobs, as a good military faction would.

The strippers represent all kinds of strippers, from those that do it because they actually enjoy it and are good at it, to the strippers who are doing it for that surgery their grandparents needed. Even down to the stripper who is so cynical and pessimistic about life that they just see no other point but to admit it's all they're good for.

The amusing twist to this film is that the strippers who turn into zombies become better strippers for being zombies, and apparently the audience enjoys the show that much more.

A nice deviation of the standard zombie is that in this film the mutation of the disease bonds with the X Chromosome. When it can bond with BOTH (meaning women) they actually retain not just motor functions, but brain functions. They can still think and speak and react emotionally, though not physically as they no longer feel pain. When the disease bonds only with one X Chromosome motor functions continue, but all brain functions are lost.

Unlike many films this one actually does do a decent job of following up on loose ends. No questions are left at the end of this film. Every character accounted for, every body accounted for - everything explained. Which is nice because so many films (not just the zombie ones) leave too many questions unanswered.

Another fantastic thing about this film is Robert Englund. A god amongst men in my opinion. His legacy of horror films is astounding, but a review of him as a man for another time.

This film constantly makes fun of itself. Often referencing older films and other B movies in amusing ways. It also does a great job of stereotyping it's cast. The janitor being a Latino (his exact origins are never stated though heavily hinted at Mexico), the club boss being (Robert Englund) a sleazy guy interested in only making as much money as he possibly can despite the dead and dying around him, the stripper manager being a foreign who assimilates herself into the American culture, but gets most of it wrong having only learned from other strippers because she was once one herself. Stereotypes abound in this film, and it not only points them out but often goes out of the way to highlight the stereotype, just in case you may have missed it.

And unlike other zombie films, there is actually an evolution of the zombie. Considering that despite the brain continuing to be active, the flesh would continue to decompose, wounds would not heal, and so over time they strippers do look worse and worse. Which is a major compliment for the makeup artists, seeing as how too often zombies in films look the same the first and last time you see them, no decomposing whatsoever.

I realize this review is quite long for such a B film, but it really is a fantastic movie if you give it half a chance. It was litereally designed to be watched by a group with a pizza and few beers making fun of the movie - and the creators would have no problem with that!

Morganville Vampires

With all of the Vampire series currently on the market it's no wonder that so many of the better written stories take the sidelines for not following the formula of today's popular Vampire Fiction (ie: Romanticized view of Vampire life and how sexualized they are with us mere mortals. And also the virtuous Vampire who doesn't feed on humans, and is constantly saving the lives of the defenseless).

This series does not follow the norm.

A basic overview of the series (and this may be considered a spoiler for some so keep that in mind if you continue reading) is to follow a young girl named Claire. She skipped a few grades in school and is going off to college now at 16. Because her overprotective parents are not comfortable with the idea of her going too far away they stipulate that she must stay in the state and be within a few hours driving distance. So she ends up Morganville. What she doesn't know is that this city is run by Vampires - the last in the world in fact. The knowledge to create a new vampire has been lost in time. Only one Vampire still has the knowledge and she isn't talking. In fact, she runs the whole town. Claire is simply trying to survive a bully when the world is opened to her in a ways he never thought the college experience would do.

I personally enjoyed the read very much. I thought it was cute and well written and the stories are interesting without being too over the top. The situations are highly unlikely, but not so much so that you find yourself frustrated with the plot. The characters are well written and the more of the series you read the clearer the character developments become. All of the characters are easily found in your own life. The young girl who always seems to know too much and be in the wrong place at the wrong time. The over zealous guy in way over his head. The guys in charge who always seem to be vying for the top most position on the tower of success.

We fall in love with the characters and unlike other reads we don't fall back out of love with them because they are not true to themselves. The characters have their main concerns and goals and you can really feel them struggle with their decisions when they are not what they would want to do.

They're easy and fun reads, and each book ends on a cliffhanger leading directly into the first line of the next book. I didn't get into the series until 8 of the books were already written. But even still, I kick myself every time I read one because I know the next one is still a few months away at least.

If you like Vampire stories (especially the ones where the Vampire isn't romanticized and sexualized) then you're going to genuinely enjoy this read. 

Hunger Games Book 1

I read a lot. Because I'm very often found with a book in my hands/bag/car it's easy for me to be able to put the book down. I always find time to read, and it's rare for a book to absorb me so much that I find myself enraptured to the point where I simply can't put the thing down and feel no choice but to sacrifice just to keep reading. Whatever the sacrifice may be, sleep/food/work (and yes, I've been known to call out of work on one of those abnormally rare occasions that a book pulled me in so much I just had to keep reading).

This book......had me up for hours past my normal bed time just to reach the end where a strangled cry escaped my lips as I realized that this book ends on a cliffhanger. And I beat myself up for not having purchased the second in the series yet. After I got 50 pages in I already knew I'd want to read the whole series. And I did make a special errand run the following day to pick up not only the second book, but the third as well in the series. It was a read I honestly couldn't pull myself away from.

The story is intriguing - basic plot line is a future/alternate world where all of North America is divided in 14 sections. The Capitol city at the center and the 13 outlying districts that produce goods for the Capitol. After a few years of this life the outlying districts stood up to the Capitol and a revolution began. Only it ended as soon as it began and all but one district was defeated by the Capitol. The last wasn't defeated, it was obliterated off the map. Ever since then the Capitol has flaunted their power and control over the districts with the 'Games'. Designed as a way to control the public. Every district must send two 'tributes' to the games (one girl and one boy) who will be placed in a arena with the other tributes from each district and fight to the death. The last one standing is the Victor who will win money and food and safety for their entire family for the rest of their lives. But of course - 24 children will go in, and only one will return home.

The books follow Katniss Everdeen. But I'm going to concentrate on this book alone. The story is amazing, from the moment she wakes up on the first page to the reaping (when the names of the tributes are chosen) to the actual Games, the arena they're set in....I'm trying not to give away too much, but it's so hard not to launch into the details I found to be the most important and the ones that I thought were the sweetest.

There are characters you love, and characters you learn to love. And they're all written so wonderfully. I've read many books where a character acts completely against their nature because it's convenient and adds a good plot twist, but lets be honest, that's not very entertaining and instead turns us off to the read. Nothing like that occurs in this book. Each character is exactly who they are, with no one acting differently than you would expect or hope - which I know sounds like this makes it predictable, but not at all. Especially with the sadistic gamemakers creating new and dangerous obstacles for the tributes to survive while still hunting each other.

Keep in mind, if you make it to the middle of the book and are as caught up as I was....there is a series, and this ends on a cliffhanger with many questions dying for answers...so go out and buy the next two if this is the case. If you're easily putting the book down and walking away then perhaps this read wasn't for you.

A noteworthy point: This book is sometimes found in children's sections because like many other miss-labeled titles the star is a child. However, because of the blood and gore and violence that is not just suggested but witnessed and often times perpetrated by the characters we're following I would not normally recommend the title to a child. Though there are many titles for children that contain these themes of violence and blood, so this is nothing new. I suppose this is up to the parents, I wouldn't put this book in the hands of my child if he/she wasn't at least in high school.

Heroes - Season 2

Aside from how much the writer's strike ruined this show.....I'll side step that point and just get into the season itself.

A good story arc begins with Hiro in 1671 Japan. A wonderful story that I think fans would agree didn't play out at all as we expected. Personally I thought that after the first time he had to step in, Hiro would realize that Adam wasn't the one, but he was. (I am trying to avoid spoilers for those who will read this prior to watching).

The arc however continues in another direction than the writing would have suggested, which was a nice twist, but is rather disappointing overall when we discover that the villian we don't even like to hate - we just don't like - is still around. And the story seems to be focusing on him at points which makes no sense as his role in the season is minimal at best. At the end of the season it makes no difference anyways as our favorite characters are written out almost as quickly as they were written in......I will try not to point out how much the writer's strike is a thorn in my side that will not go away....oops, just did.

Connections between characters seem even more far-fetched then ever before and because of the strike when they came back had only 2-3 episodes to close up all the loose ends with....which they did poorly as some of them they don't even close up, we simply never hear from the characters again. The beginning starts strong, but by the end of the season you're left reminding yourself that the first season was so impressive and they just had a hiccup it will get better.....but it never does.

The writer's strike. :(

The writer's strike. :(

The writer's strike. :(

The writer's strike. :(

The writer's strike. :(

The writer's strike. :(

The writer's strike. :(

The writer's strike. :(

The writer's strike. :(

The writer's strike. :(

It ruined television. I understand where some of the writers were coming from when they went on strike in the first place, but honestly - they did themselves a major disservice - and us the viewers as well. Most production houses and channels are doing more and more 'reality' TV and remakes of old movies, and sequels and prequels then ever before because they don't want to hire writers. They don't want to have to pay through the nose and they don't want to have to do this for the next few decades because of intellectual property rights. It's ridiculous is what it is. What of all those people posting on Youtube? Are they receiving anything? Well they're writers....it's their material....they came up with it....where's their share huh? Jackasses.

All of you are jackasses. All you did was prove like Metallica did when they filed suit against Napster that you don't write because you enjoy it, because you like the fans, because you respect that without our love and devotion to your writing you wouldn't even have a job.....nope. You proved that you write for money and so long as it's not enough to keep a mansion like the rest of the actors you're working with (who yes, do in fact deserve WAY more than you for being on camera and for being the only ones who can do the job. Do you have to come in when sick? Can someone else fill in for a day? Do they get these same options? NO.) then it's simply not enough for you. So you went on strike and ruined all the good shows out there, got a large number cancelled before they'd even gained enough momentum, and showed the fans you don't give a shit about us.

You're all assholes for doing it. You were making enough money, and you were working in a good field with degrees that in most of the rest of the country are toilet paper. And you weren't happy, well boo-fucking-who for you. Get therapy, don't go on strike like the bastards you all proved yourself to be.

Go crawl in a hole and die and bring back the true integrity of writing and art. The work is it's own reward, you were lucky enough to be doing work that you got paid for that you were able to make a living off of. So many of us cannot say the same. I hope you're happy with the results. Most of you can't even get hired now since so many studios aren't willing to hire writers because you've all proven yourselves to be little bitches.

Heroes - Season 1

Sometimes I will review things as a group - or series, but in certain cases things must be reviewed separately as they are simply too different to be viewed as a whole.

Season 1 was arguably the best season this show ever had. But the writer's strike during their second season is to blame for that, and that's a critique for another time. As for the season itself - some of the acting is well below par with people taking certain scenes far more dramatically than is necessary. I understand the purpose of the drama but I do wish that some of the characters had been instructed to play their roles a bit more like the actor playing Hiro Nakamura did. With a light edge of "Saving the world is important, but why not smile and take pride in the little victories and have a little fun while doing it?"His scenes are easily the most enjoyable because of the little jokes and ease with which his character embraces what's happening. Unlike most of the other characters Hiro is one who does not question his abilities.

I understand the need to question those abilities from other characters, and I understand that so many would either rebel against it or allow such power to go to their heads and demand to be treated and seen as Gods. This happens without abilities when someone gets too much money and power NOW - a person need not have a special ability above and beyond those of a normal human being in order to be corrupt and lost. But this is of course why this season was so good. The discovery of these abilities and what they did and how they affected a person, were identifiable, if you replaced the ability with a mental disease, or someone having won the lottery you could see it as a human aspect.

We as humans have always been fascinated with the idea of Superheroes among us. This show makes the concept even more real. Much closer to home than the idea of an alien race among us. These are regular everyday kind of people. Dealing with life on a 'higher level' because of their abilities that no normal human could do.

The basic story arc is that of these people finding each other in our world and learning about what it is they do and discovering what a true villain is. The real fun of the season is learning all the different abilities that the writers and FX department could come up with. Seeing both how these powers can go to their heads, and how they can make them into amazingly wonderful people. Some characters are easier to love than others - though I doubt this has as much to do with the writing than it does with the acting. The same lines delivered in a different way can change how you feel about the character. I want to love certain characters because of their inherit goodness, but the actors playing the roles do it so poorly it's hard to love them. However, there are only a small handful of actors that make the show not worth it. I would say 85% of the cast and crew make you love this show, or love to hate it as it is for some.

Over all - the show itself (if based alone on this season) was quite good.

Lamb - The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

It should be noted that I'm very biased in favor of Christopher Moore, as both an author and a man. I find his writing style to be akin to the likes of Kurt Vonnegut and Ray Bradbury. His ideas as outstanding and outlandish as his contemporaries of a time long gone, but his prose as easy and lively to read as a children's book should be. Unlike many authors of this time Christopher Moore has a way with words that shows he's not writing in an attempt to feed his ego and make himself feel better, but because he truly enjoys the act.

Speaking of this particular book alone it should be noted that the dialogue itself is enough of a selling point for this novel, but that wasn't what drew me into the story nor what kept me reading to the last page to find myself disappointed there wasn't more of a story to continue. The simple idea - the story of Christ as told by someone who knew him well and was witness to all his wonderful acts. Seems like a religious tome that should find it's way into the religious fiction section of any library or bookstore, but that isn't what this book is. I've heard some people state when I've recommended this to them that "I don't like reading about religious figures" and if there were a book that idolized Christ, or anyone associated with him - or for that matter tore him down and made his 'history' into a farce I would agree. But as this book does neither I see no conflict of interest.

The book itself is the story of the life of Christ for most of the portion of the bible where we do not know him. In the bible Christ goes from being a young child to a young 30 something man who is ready to take on his duty as the son of God. But what of all those years in between? What did he do, how did he come to terms with who and what he was? And this is where Christopher Moore comes in.

It's a very humorous book full of jokes and jabs aimed not at religion, or even at Christ, but at everything else that surrounded him. His upbringing as a Jew, and how that affected his world view. His decisions and trials that turned him from a naive boy into a man. The people that flocked to him and around him and what their roles and purposes were.

I truly enjoyed this read. If you're not a fan of humorous books that can enlighten you and provide you a new view of things in your own world, then this is not likely to be the same case for you. If you enjoyed Kurt Vonnegut, or Ray Bradbury, or the short stories of Issac Asimov and the like then you'll likely become a fan of Christopher Moore. This isn't to say his writings are Science Fiction related, but that they (like the other authors I've mentioned) can take you away to a new time and place, create an overlay of this world onto your own and in the end make you a better person for simply being open to it.

Nothing is Safe

The main purpose of this blog will be to review and criticize EVERYTHING. Nothing is safe. From the restaurants I eat in - to the men I date - to the women I meet. I will not give away names of specific people, but will rather generalize their types - which is rather bigoted I admit, but hiding behind a keyboard makes bigots of us all.

I will review books I read and movies I see. The first review being of the book I most recently finished reading. And from there it will go. I will not hesitate to say how I truly feel, or how much something disgusted/empowered/belittled/enlightened me. This blog is essentially an opinion - MY opinion. I do not feel as though my opinion should supersede your own, but I do feel as though it should be heeded. I do not criticize for the simple joy of doing it, but because I do feel that my opinion is worth something. I will never say that I hated something without a full explanation why. I do not believe in the word "because" if it is not followed with explanation.

I will try not to include spoilers but to give an overview of something. If in a comment you wish to include spoilers please note that at the beginning.

I will take recommendations for books to read and movies to see as the blog gains momentum and followers. Keep in mind though that sometimes I will simply not be able to locate that book or movie to review them, so for now I suggest that all requests be made of things you know to be easily accessible.